A Review Of The 2015 Academy Awards
Many people don’t watch the red carpet before the Academy Awards, but I do. I watch it because the people giving criticism are people who look like people you see in an aisle at the grocery store and skip it. I love hearing people made fun of when it’s clever, but having people judge other peoples style choices whilst being nothing but mean is BS. Listening and watching to the most grotesque looking beasts criticize actresses looks and fashion on the red carpet is insane. Shrek Kardashian, Giuliana Rancic — who is anorexic and looks like a condom pulled over a skeleton — and Kelly Osbourne giving style criticism is like listening to the morbidly obese bedridden woman in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? give me diet tips.
That being said, let’s dive into the PAGEANTRY! We recently predicted the awards based on, well, knowing how the Academy is easily bought and astoundingly stupid, like not actually watching the movies that are nominated.
It started off with Neil Patrick Harris singing and dancing with millions looking at their remote wondering if they could fast forward time, but then Anna Kendrick came out and all was made well. Plus, Jack Black is still alive.
Let’s look at how awesome our predictions were:
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
- Robert Duvall – The Judge as Judge Joseph Palmer
- Ethan Hawke – Boyhood as Mason Evans, Sr.
- Edward Norton – Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) as Mike Shiner
- Mark Ruffalo – Foxcatcher as Dave Schultz
- J. K. Simmons – Whiplash as Terence Fletcher
Social Underground — 1 – 0
We’re starting off good. All good performances, but Simmons was amazing.
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
- Ida (Poland) in Polish – Paweł Pawlikowski
- Leviathan (Russia) in Russian – Andrey Zvyagintsev (X)
- Tangerines (Estonia) in Estonian and Russian – Zaza Urushadze
- Timbuktu (Mauritania) in French – Abderrahmane Sissako
- Wild Tales (Argentina) in Spanish – Damián Szifrón
Social Underground — 1 – 1
The speech on this was good, but the fact they played the music 5 seconds in to get them off stage was pathetic. Glad Pawel kept talking. I’d rather hear a man talk about his family and friends than hear badly written opening lines by people no one can remember.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
- Patricia Arquette – Boyhood as Olivia Evans
- Laura Dern – Wild as Barbara “Bobbi” Grey
- Keira Knightley – The Imitation Game as Joan Clarke
- Emma Stone – Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) as Sam Thomson
- Meryl Streep – Into the Woods as The Witch
Social Underground– 2 – 1
If Meryl won for that atrocious movie, I would’ve done absolutely nothing because who cares? Arquette went on a rant about female equality when it comes to equal pay, but hearing millionaires talk about pay is annoying. When you don’t have to worry about your bills, I don’t care what you have to say.
Also, Neil Patrick Harris is a terrible host. Nothing like making fun of a winner immediately after she said her son committed suicide! COMEDY!
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
- Captain America: The Winter Soldier – Dan DeLeeuw, Russell Earl, Bryan Grill and Dan Sudick
- Dawn of the Planet of the Apes – Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, Daniel Barrettand Erik Winquist
- Guardians of the Galaxy – Stephane Ceretti, Nicolas Aithadi, Jonathan Fawkner and Paul Corbould
- Interstellar – Paul Franklin, Andrew Lockley, Ian Hunter and Scott Fisher
- X-Men: Days of Future Past – Richard Stammers, Lou Pecora, Tim Crosbie and Cameron Waldbauer
Social Underground — 3 – 1
If this didn’t win… I would’ve turned the show off and deleted this entire thing. Interstellar looked real. Everything else was obviously fake. Plus, I’m pretty sick of Andy Serkis doing pointless motion capture and taking credit away from animators is getting to be annoying. I can tape ping pong balls to myself as well, but that is just skipping one step on the thousands of steps on animating.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
- Big Hero 6 – Don Hall, Chris Williams and Roy Conli
- The Boxtrolls – Anthony Stacchi, Graham Annable and Travis Knight
- How to Train Your Dragon 2 – Dean DeBlois and Bonnie Arnold
- Song of the Sea – Tomm Moore and Paul Young
- The Tale of the Princess Kaguya – Isao Takahata and Yoshiaki Nishimura
Social Underground — 4 – 1
I admit it, I fist pumped in the air. Apologies to my neighbors.
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
- Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) – Emmanuel Lubezki
- The Grand Budapest Hotel – Robert Yeoman
- Ida – Łukasz Żal and Ryszard Lenczewski
- Mr. Turner – Dick Pope
- Unbroken – Roger Deakins
Social Underground — 5 – 1
I want to thank the Academy… for being predictable.
BEST DOCUMENTARY — FEATURE
- Citizenfour – Laura Poitras, Mathilde Bonnefoy and Dirk Wilutsky
- Finding Vivian Maier – John Maloof and Charlie Siskel
- Last Days in Vietnam – Rory Kennedy and Keven McAlester
- The Salt of the Earth – Wim Wenders, Lélia Wanick Salgado and David Rosier
- Virunga – Orlando von Einsiedel and Joanna Natasegara
Social Underground — 6 – 1
Was scared this would be pressured to lose because duh. Glad it won. Everyone clap nervously and throw your phone away. Neil Patrick Harris continues to be the worst host I have ever seen. I mean, wow.
SIDE NOTE: Lady Gaga singing songs from The Sound Of Music was mind-blowing.
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
- The Grand Budapest Hotel – Alexandre Desplat
- The Imitation Game – Alexandre Desplat
- Interstellar – Hans Zimmer
- Mr. Turner – Gary Yershon
- The Theory of Everything – Jóhann Jóhannsson
Social Underground — 6 – 2
Boring music that was lifted and re-written by previous musicians… apparently you win awards for that. Meanwhile, Wes Anderson makes the same damn movie over and over and still gets nominated? Keep having posters with houses or buildings with yellow text on it. We haven’t seen that before…
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
- Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) – Alejandro González Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Jr. and Armando Bo
- Boyhood – Richard Linklater
- Foxcatcher – E. Max Frye and Dan Futterman
- The Grand Budapest Hotel – Wes Anderson and Hugo Guinness
- Nightcrawler – Dan Gilroy
Social Underground — 7 – 2
Best original screenplay is one award that I truly cherish. Sitting down and putting an original story on a page and putting it to film is a difficult thing to do. Also, na na na na na, I called it! La la la la la, I can’t hear you!
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
- American Sniper – Jason Hall from American Sniper by Chris Kyle, Scott McEwen and Jim DeFelice
- The Imitation Game – Graham Moore from Alan Turing: The Enigma by Andrew Hodges
- Inherent Vice – Paul Thomas Anderson from Inherent Vice by Thomas Pynchon
- The Theory of Everything – Anthony McCarten from Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen by Jane Wilde Hawking
- Whiplash – Damien Chazelle from his short film of the same name
Social Underground — 8 – 2
Beautiful choice. Wonderful and beautiful speech by Graham Moore admitting his suicide attempt (Like Turing was tortured into committing) in his speech. Look for that speech in multiple websites that repost other websites that repost other websites that cite other websites.
BEST DIRECTOR
- Wes Anderson – The Grand Budapest Hotel
- Alejandro González Iñárritu – Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
- Richard Linklater – Boyhood
- Bennett Miller – Foxcatcher
- Morten Tyldum – The Imitation Game
Social Underground — 9 – 2
Birdman, as expected, is kicking all the asses — Birdman style! (*Dodges whisky bottle and untied shoe*)
BEST ACTOR
- Steve Carell – Foxcatcher as John Eleuthère du Pont
- Bradley Cooper – American Sniper as Chris Kyle
- Benedict Cumberbatch – The Imitation Game as Alan Turing
- Michael Keaton – Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) as Riggan Thomson
- Eddie Redmayne – The Theory of Everything as Stephen Hawking
I thought the movie was garbage, used Hawking’s history as garbage, was written by computers found in the garbage, and was one of the most disappointing movies about a hero of mine in recent memory… but Redmayne is nice, although if the voters saw Jupiter Ascending, he would’ve been uninvited.
BEST ACTRESS
- Marion Cotillard – Two Days, One Night as Sandra Bya
- Felicity Jones – The Theory of Everything as Jane Wilde Hawking
- Julianne Moore – Still Alice as Dr. Alice Howland
- Rosamund Pike – Gone Girl as Amy Elliott-Dunne
- Reese Witherspoon – Wild as Cheryl Strayed
Social Underground — 10 – 2
I knew Moore would would win, but I wanted Pike to win because she legitimately gave me Deja Vu from past experiences. The “I did things, and you were part of it, there is nothing you can do or say. I control you.” type attitude made me puke in my mouth.
Moore playing an Alzheimer’s victim was powerful. Alzheimer’s is the long goodbye that no one wants to be the victim of and no one wants to witness the victim of. Cheers.
BEST PICTURE
- American Sniper – Clint Eastwood, Robert Lorenz, Andrew Lazar, Bradley Cooper and Peter Morgan
- Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) – Alejandro González Iñárritu, John Lesher and James W. Skotchdopole
- Boyhood – Richard Linklater and Cathleen Sutherland
- The Grand Budapest Hotel – Wes Anderson, Scott Rudin, Steven Rales and Jeremy Dawson
- The Imitation Game – Nora Grossman, Ido Ostrowsky and Teddy Schwarzman
- Selma – Christian Colson, Oprah Winfrey, Dede Gardner and Jeremy Kleiner
- The Theory of Everything – Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Lisa Bruce and Anthony McCarten
- Whiplash – Jason Blum, Helen Estabrook and David Lancaster
Social Underground — 11- 2
Credit where credit is due.
“Two Mexicans in a row… is suspicious.” – Alejandro González Iñárritu
Perfect. Another reason why he and his team won it all.
We batted 85% here at the Social Underground, and you know what they say about B students: They’re smart without trying too much.
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Jeff Sorensen is an author, writer and occasional comedian living in Detroit, Michigan. You can look for more of his work on The Huffington Post, UPROXX, BGR and by just looking up his name.