‘Sham-rock’ Someone on St. Patty’s Day
I hope you come across this article before St. Patrick’s Day for several reasons. The first is purely selfish; I’d love for you guys to catch my “Sexy St. Patty’s Day Special” on Vivid Radio SiriusXM channel 791 replaying throughout that day and night, and available for download on VividRadio.com.
My 1-hour special features Irish American Adult Stars Jayden Cole, Belle Knox, Krissy Lynn, Erica McLean, my co-host Yanira Johnson and myself, all playing erotic Irish-themed adult games. For example, we hid gold ‘Leprechaun’ chocolate coins (recycled Gelt from our Horny Hanukkah Special) on our bodies prior to the show, and then during the show the porn star to our right had to feel us up (and down) to find it! Excited squeals, and sexy shenanigans ensued.
The main reason I hope you read this before Tuesday is that while I was preparing for this radio special, I came across so much cool stuff relating to St. Patty’s Day and sex, that I decided to compile and share a list of what I found – and where I found it – to help you ‘Sham-rock’ someone’s world come the 17th.
There’s the basic stuff. You can add green food color to just about everything to make it festive looking. Beer. Champagne. Jell-O Shots. Whipped cream. Ice cream and ice cream drinks. Waffles, pancakes cakes and cookies. Rice Krispies Treats. Cheesecake. Breads. Fried eggs, scrambled eggs, deviled eggs. Mashed Potatoes. Popcorn. White sauces. Frosting and Icing. Ice cubes. Water. Bathwater. Anything water (jacuzzis, pools, lakes, rivers, etc.). The list goes on.
You can also create your own adult themed games for your get-together, or private party. Make up your version of the Leprechaun Gold Treasure Hunt, Kiss the Blarney Stone contest, the Lucky Charms Lick-Off, the Tittie Tater Toss, the Naked Irish Jig, Lip Smacking Limericks, Strip Horse Shoes, Kinky Keg Roll, Pin the Clover on the Leprechaun, the Kiss Me I’m Irish Booth, 50 Shades of Green… you get the idea. If you’re single, and want to test the luck of the Irish, get trashed at any St. Patrick’s Day parade, block party, folk festival, or a pub-crawl, and wait for the green beer goggles to set in. But, if you don’t want to leave it to chance…
Read on for 14 sexy ways to spice up your St. Patty’s Day!
Dye Your Pits or Pubes Green – The “Dyed Pits” trend went viral over Christmas when Roxie Hunt, a hairdresser in Seattle, dyed her co-workers armpit hair blue and detailed the process in an online how-to blog. All you need to transform your pits (or pubes) into green patches in 30 minutes is hair bleach, 30-volume developer, green hair dye, rubber gloves, and an applicator brush.
Green Glow In The Dark Condoms – The Green Hornet has nothing on whoever wears these “Night Light” glow in the dark green condoms by Global Protection Corp. They glow in the dark via a technologically advanced patented 3-layer process. The center layer contains a phosphorous pigment while the inner and outer layers are latex, similar to other condoms. The day glow colorant is sealed in between the inner and outer layers. A bundle of 6 will run you under $10.00.
Glitter Shamrock Pasties – You can sport these clover shaped green glitter shamrock pasties on your boobies at your St. Patty’s Day soiree, sold on Yandy.com. They are made of a sparkling pleather material that conforms to your breasts, and is wrinkle resistant. The sticky part is latex free, medical grade, waterproof adhesive that stays securely in place until you gently remove them. They are handmade in the USA, and cost $7.95. One size fits most. Coverage diameter is 1.2 centimeters.
Edible Apple Gummy Underwear – Add color and flavor to your St. Patty’s Day bedroom fun. Green colored apple flavored edible gummy underwear never tasted as good as the ones sold on BuyEdibleUndies.com. There are sour apple edible crotch-less gummy panties for her, and a male gummy undies version for him. These suckers will run you $5.55. And check out the Green Apple Warming Lube, Warming Massage Oil, and Good Head Green Apple Sex Gel, all priced under $9.00.
Sexy Leprechaun and Other Costumes – Stroll around town in slutty green outfits, and St. Patty’s Day costumes. Sometimes you just want to jump into the pot of gold feet first when the spirit moves you – and dress up for the occasion. CostumeCraze.com has the best selection of St. Patrick’s themed costumes for both men, and women. Whether you end up wearing an outfit you bought, or one that you made, this site will give you cute ideas for any price range.
Green Lingerie or Boxers – Nothing is hotter than when the clothes come off, and all that’s left are the sexy St. Patty’s Day themed undergarments. Guys check out CafePress.com for the most extensive collection of St. Patrick’s Day Boxer Shorts. Prices range from $12.99 – $24.50. Girls, head over to AlieExpress.com and their inventory of almost 10,000 different sets of green lingerie, baby doll dresses, and pajamas. Prices vary.
Rainbow and Green Edible Body Paint – Draw rainbows and shamrocks on your lover’s body (then lick them off) with various fruit flavored Edible Finger Paints, Edible Body Paints, or the Play Pens Edible Body Paint set. Intimate playtime comes alive with these erotic edible multi-colored body paints and pens. Have fun with foreplay, while finding your partners pot-o-gold for under $10.00. Connect all your lover’s dots on St. Patty’s Day with the products on NawtyThings.com.
St. Patrick’s Day Custom Fortune Cookies – Fancy Fortune Cookies sells custom made fortune cookies that come in various sizes, flavors, and shades of green. You can order them with racy ‘good luck’ messages. Or they can be individually wrapped, and personalized for your lover. They come dipped in various chocolates, and encrusted with a selection of green sprinkles and sugars. Prices start from under $1.00 for an individual cookie – $100.00 depending on the size of the sampler.
Shamrock Tanning Stickers – Clover shaped tanning stickers are super sexy when placed on the right body part i.e.: breast, butt, tummy, and pubic area before you go lay in the sun, or on a tanning bed. Putting them on the same spot each time you tan is also a good way to measure your progress, you can see exactly how dark you’re getting. Nova Companies sells a roll of 1000 shamrock body stickers for $5.00.
Make a Green Bubble Bath – Who doesn’t like relaxing in a tub filled with green bubbles? LUSH Cosmetics makes a zesty lemongrass and avocado Avobath Bath Bomb that is to die for. It fizzes into a green shimmer that leaves you with softer supple skin. LUSH also makes an uplifting Green Fun soap out of citrus, and a stimulating Sugar Scrub from fennel and ginger. All products are under $7.00.
Leave a Clover Trail – Save the rose petals for Valentine’s Day. Clovers are making a comeback. There are 245 recognized species of Trifolium, AKA the clover. Just pick a handful, and lead a trail to the tub filled with green bubble bath, or to the bed where you make a shamrock out of cloverleaves. By the way, 4-leaf clovers are extremely rare; you’ll find 1 in every 10,000 with 3 leaves. The Guinness Book of World Records for the most leaves on a clover stem is 56, and was set in Japan, May 2009.
Have Sex to an Irish Music Playlist – Throw some Irish tunes on shuffle as you get down to business. Here’s a list of top Irish musicians and their bands to download from iTunes:
Enya, Elvis Costello, U2, The Cranberries, Sinead O’Connor, Gilbert O’Sullivan, Van Morrison, Snow Patrol, The Script, The Irish Rovers, Thin Lizzy, Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, The Dubliners, The Pogues, Stiff Little Fingers, My Bloody Valentine, Rory Gallagher, The Corrs, The Wolfe Tones and Bob Geldoff.
Read Irish Poetry, Short Stories, Novels or Plays Out Loud With An Accent – Nothing sounds sexier than Irish Brogue bedroom talk. These are some of the most prolific Irish authors of our time:
Oscar Wilde, Jonathan Swift, Bram Stoker, James Joyce, Samuel Beckett, John Banville, George Bernard Shaw, C.S. Lewis, William Butler Yeats, Edmund Burke, Anne Enright, Brendan Behan, John McGahern, Flann O’Brien, Brian Friel, Sean O’Casey, Liam O’Flaherty, Thomas Moore and Oliver Goldsmith.
Leap Year (2010) – Starring Matthew Goode and Amy Adams
Ondine (2009) – Starring Colin Farrell and Alicja Bachleda
P.S. I Love You (2007) – Starring Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank
Speed Dating (2007) – Starring Hugh O’Conor and Emma Choy
Once (2006) – Starring Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
The Boys & Girl from County Clare (2003) – Starring Bernard Hill and Charlotte Bradley
The Brothers McMullen (1995) – Starring Edward Burns and Connie Britton
Circle of Friends (1995) – Starring Chris O’Donnell and Minnie Driver
Far and Away (1992) – Starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman
The Quiet Man (1952) – Starring John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara