Review: ‘Terminator Genisys’
When I first saw the Terminator Genisys trailer during the Super Bowl, I was excited and depressed at the same time. Arnold Schwarzenegger coming back to the franchise that he launch had me ecstatic, but seeing the rest of the cast and the horrible CGI put me back to the time of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. That movie was so bad that it has kept the franchise limping on ever since.
Here’s the synopsis you can basically write yourself from the trailer:
When John Connor (Jason Clarke), leader of the human resistance, sends Sgt. Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) back to 1984 to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) and safeguard the future, an unexpected turn of events creates a fractured timeline. Now, Sgt. Reese finds himself in a new and unfamiliar version of the past, where he is faced with unlikely allies, including the Guardian (Arnold Schwarzenegger), dangerous new enemies, and an unexpected new mission: To reset the future…
Before I headed to the theater to watch this new entry in the franchise, I had to rewatch the first two films. Terminator was a hardcore film from the beginning. If there was ever a need for the R-rating for an 80’s film, it was this one. Heck, you see Arnold’s dong flopping around right before he uppercuts through a punks chest just to get clothes. He then goes on shooting sprees that include shooting up an entire police station with zero empathy. What I also noticed in the viewing is how much every shooter game basically tried to recreate 3 seconds of a scene in the original:
The fear of the Terminator illustrated how unstoppable this guy is and why he should be so terrifying to any human in his path. It’s why Reese looks insane in the interrogation room screaming at the camera, “You still don’t get it, do you? He’ll find her! That’s what he does! That’s ALL he does! You can’t stop him! He’ll wade through you, reach down her throat and pull her fuckin’ heart out!”
In Terminator 2, it revamped the entire series where the Terminator is reprogrammed to protect John Connor. It was fresh and the CGI in it still holds up better than modern films today (including the new one). When 3 and 4 came out, they just modified the earlier films with nothing really interesting or new. That brings me to Terminator Genisys.
In this movie, they go back to the same time in 1984 where Kyle Reese and the original Terminator arrive. The film tries to recreate the beginning scenes, but with the PG-13 rating, they have to cut out all the parts I mentioned before: No dong, no killing, and even removing dialogue that says something about God by the truck driver near where the Terminator appears are all gone. To further show how the Terminator is not much of a threat, he is done away with in seconds. It emasculates the entire first film to the point that I groaned in the theater.
As the story progresses, it reveals that someone (never mentioned, sequel-bait) sent a Terminator back to when Sarah was 9-years-old to train and protect her for the coming war. Kyle Reese appears to a different past from the original film and has to come to grips with and entirely different mission. To me, it felt like I was watching the original film, then someone came in and George Lucas’d the whole damn thing saying, “This is what The Terminator was really supposed to be, but we didn’t have the CGI at the time.”
When a film tries to outclass the first 2 films in a matter of 30 minutes, it’s doomed to fail. None of the actors could match their original counterparts. Even Arnold seemed to sleep through the film mumbling overwrought dialogue and forced one-liners. Jai Courtney doesn’t have that likeable quality of a soldier in love like Michael Biehn did, and Emilia Clarke was supposed to be trained since she was 9, but looks like she never lifted a weight or learned to fight. Think of Linda Hamilton doing pullups in a mental institution, and then look at Clarke–both the lack embodiment of badass and the subpar acting made Clarke’s portrayal pretty limited. She should’ve gotten tips on being Sarah Connor from her Game of Thrones co-star Lena Headey on how to be Sarah Connor (previously played the role in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, which was the last time anything Terminator related was watchable).
Overall, I wouldn’t recommend going to the theater and paying to see this movie. I’d wait until AMC has a Terminator marathon in a few years and premieres it. Even then, you may just want to just watch Terminator 2 again instead.
Overall grade: D
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Jeff Sorensen is an author, writer and occasional comedian living in Detroit, Michigan. You can look for more of his work on The Huffington Post, UPROXX, BGR and by just looking up his name.
Contact: jeff@socialunderground.com