Social Underground’s 2016 Golden Globes Predictions
The Golden Globes are pretty much known as the fun awards show. The guests get to drink alcohol and the host is allowed to funny. The awards also cover both television and movies, so it’s a lot more entertaining than the Academy Awards… basically the Academy Awards are awful. This year, the Golden Globes actually managed to get some good choices in their for nominations. But they also managed to put one movie and its actors into the wrong category. It’s such a strange choice that it reminds me of when Orange is the New Black was put in the comedy category — looks down at list — oh, I guess they did it again.
Let’s take a look at the nominations this year and we’ll try to guess the winners.
BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
CAROL (Number 9 Films; The Weinstein Company)
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (Warner Bros. Pictures / Village Roadshow Pictures / Kennedy Miller Mitchell; Warner Bros. Pictures)
THE REVENANT (Regency Enterprises; Twentieth Century Fox)
ROOM (Element Pictures / No Trace Camping; A24)
SPOTLIGHT (Anonymous Content / Participant Media / First Look; Open Road Films)
So many good movies on this list. Mad Max: Fury Road was probably the best movie I’ve seen this year, but the chances of a fun and entertaining movie winning in this category is usually a fools bet. Carol was a movie that was made solely to get nominated for award so it has a chance, but I’m going to have to give it to The Revenant. Spotlight might come in and get the win, but a movie that heavily sh*ts on the whole priests touching kids scandal may not let them win it. Then again, Hollywood likes to pat itself on the back, so you never know.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
CATE BLANCHETT – CAROL
BRIE LARSON – ROOM
ROONEY MARA – CAROL
SAOIRSE RONAN – BROOKLYN
ALICIA VIKANDER – THE DANISH GIRL
Brie Larson in Room was phenomenal. Cate Blanchett is also Cate Blanchett. All the other nominees don’t really stand a chance in this one. Brie Larson will win it for sure, and if she doesn’t, it doesn’t really matter. All these movies are one watch films anyway.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
BRYAN CRANSTON – TRUMBO
LEONARDO DICAPRIO – THE REVENANT
MICHAEL FASSBENDER – STEVE JOBS
EDDIE REDMAYNE – THE DANISH GIRL
WILL SMITH – CONCUSSION
It’s Cranston vs. DiCaprio in this one. I don’t know how the hell Fassbender got nominated for that garbage film Steve Jobs. He was good, but that movie was awful. I want DiCaprio to win. He is doing everything he can to win an award these days. Not intentionally — I hope — but man, every role he has been in has been one of the best performances of that year. But then we have Cranston. He could act himself into space if it were possible… or even makes sense.
Although I’m predicting Cranston, the winner will be Redmayne. With all the transgender stuff in the news, I feel that the voters will be guilt tripped into voting for him in the role. Not saying that’s a bad thing, but after seeing him in Jupiter Ascending, he should forfeit all of his awards.
BEST MOTION PICTURE – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
THE BIG SHORT (Paramount Pictures / Regency Enterprises; Paramount Pictures)
JOY (Fox 2000 Pictures; Twentieth Century Fox)
THE MARTIAN (Twentieth Century Fox; Twentieth Century Fox)
SPY (Twentieth Century Fox; Twentieth Century Fox)
TRAINWRECK (Universal Pictures / Apatow Productions; Universal Pictures)
The Martian or The Big Short with a little chance of Joy. The Big Short proved that Adam McKay could be a great director if given the best material. The film did one of the best things possible with the “based on a true story” thing. When something is fictionalized, one of the characters in the film turns to the camera and tells you how and why it was fictionalized. I thought that was f*cking amazing. You watch crap like The Social Network and it makes all these programmers looks like badasses when they really just sit in their dorms typing and listening to 311. (*pulls trigger on finger gun to head*)
The Martian was one of my favorite movies of the year, but it shouldn’t be in this category. It should be in drama. Sure, it had funny parts in it, but it was a movie about a man stuck on Mars for over a year. Alone. I’m teared up multiple times in the film. It captured the book like not really many films can. So if this movie has to be in the category, then it should win. Also, Spy? What?
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
JENNIFER LAWRENCE – JOY
MELISSA MCCARTHY – SPY
AMY SCHUMER – TRAINWRECK
MAGGIE SMITH – THE LADY IN THE VAN
LILY TOMLIN – GRANDMA
Jennifer Lawrence. Sorry, ladies.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
CHRISTIAN BALE – THE BIG SHORT
STEVE CARELL – THE BIG SHORT
MATT DAMON – THE MARTIAN
AL PACINO – DANNY COLLINS
MARK RUFFALO – INFINITELY POLAR BEAR
Everyone in The Big Short killed it. Bale was his typical genius self, and Carell again shows that he is more than just the guy from The Office. Damon, however, was a one man show. He was on another level of acting in this movie. He didn’t rely on the normal trope of getting back to his wife and kids. No, he focused on survival. He portrayed a man that has no hope of getting home with elegance. He had to keep himself busy, grow his own food, and science the sh*t out of the habitat he was in. Once again, he should be nominated for actor in a drama. What the hell, Golden Globes?
BEST MOTION PICTURE – ANIMATED
ANOMALISA (Starburns Industries; Paramount Pictures)
THE GOOD DINOSAUR (Pixar Animation Studios; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
INSIDE OUT (Pixar Animation Studios; Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
THE PEANUTS MOVIE (Blue Sky Studios; Twentieth Century Fox)
SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE (Aardman; Lionsgate / Studiocanal)
Inside Out. I actually thought it was bad. Pixar used to be about garbage robots calling in love, now kids have to watch animated depression? But, it has the reviews and The Good Dinosaur was meh. Sorry to the other movies, Pixar basically has the category on lock until they really spread all the talent thin at Disney.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN ANY MOTION PICTURE
JANE FONDA – YOUTH
JENNIFER JASON LEIGH – THE HATEFUL EIGHT
HELEN MIRREN – TRUMBO
ALICIA VIKANDER – EX MACHINA
KATE WINSLET – STEVE JOBS
It’s nice seeing Ex Machina on the list. Alicia Viklander was amazing at making you think she was a robot with emotions. She made you question her whilst simultaneously wanting to believe and do everything she says. Kate Winslet in Steve Jobs? How is that movie nominated for so many things? She did good, but nothing noteworthy. Look for Helen Mirren for the steal. I wouldn’t mind if Leigh stole it. I love how Tarantino uses actors that Hollywood turns its back on for no reason. I honestly thought she retired after the movie The Machinist.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN ANY MOTION PICTURE
PAUL DANO – LOVE & MERCY
IDRIS ELBA – BEASTS OF NO NATION
MARK RYLANCE – BRIDGE OF SPIES
MICHAEL SHANNON – 99 HOMES
SYLVESTER STALLONE – CREED
This one is tough. Everyone in this list deserves to be on it. Idris Elba is one of my favorite actors, but Beasts of No Nation was an average movie that looks really good. Going to have to give this one to Stallone. He gave a performance that proved he is a fantastic actor. I mean, if you forget The Expendables franchise and look to his other work (Cop Land, Rocky), you’ll see that he’s great. He proved it again in this role. This is the best he’s been in years. I think he’ll win, but most importantly, he deserves to.
BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
TODD HAYNES – CAROL
ALEJANDRO G. IÑÁRRITU – THE REVENANT
TOM MCCARTHY – SPOTLIGHT
GEORGE MILLER – MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
RIDLEY SCOTT – THE MARTIAN
George Miller delivered one of the best looking movies in years. Most directors take dystopian films and make them grey and dark. Miller made his movie colorful. Every scene looks like it had 10,000 hours of thought put into it. This may go to Alejandro because of his amazing tracking shots and use of real lighting, but Miller is the standout. People were LITERALLY high-fiving each other in the theater at some of the practical action shots. That is what entertainment is, kids.
BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
EMMA DONOGHUE – ROOM
TOM MCCARTHY, JOSH SINGER – SPOTLIGHT
CHARLES RANDOLPH, ADAM MCKAY – THE BIG SHORT
AARON SORKIN – STEVE JOBS
QUENTIN TARANTINO – THE HATEFUL EIGHT
Why the hell is Aaron Sorkin on this list yet again?! Every male in his movie is the same, and every woman in the movie seems like that characters ex-wife. Anyway, Spotlight will probably get it, but there is a lot of good writing in this list. Tarantino is amazing at writing, but there will probably be a lot of N-words dropped in this film, so eek. The Big Short, as I mentioned above, did some stuff that was amazing that other movies like it never do. I dunno, I’ll guess Spotlight.
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
EMPIRE (FOX) (20th Century Fox Television / Imagine Television)
GAME OF THRONES (HBO) (HBO Entertainment in association with Bighead, Littlehead; Television 360 and Startling Television)
MR. ROBOT (USA Network) (Universal Cable Productions)
NARCOS (Netflix) (Gaumont International Television for Netflix)
OUTLANDER (Starz) (Sony Pictures Television)
Okay. This is a weird list. Empire completely fell apart in the second season. Game of Thrones season 5 was pretty boring. Narcos was good but forgettable. Outlander was a good show with amazing nudity… and one episode of man-on-man rape that was f*cking disturbing. It was an entire episode of that. And then there’s Mr. Robot. We love that show here at Social Underground headquarters. It had one of the best first seasons of a show in the history of television. I will stand by that statement with a gun to my head.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
CAITRIONA BALFE – OUTLANDER
VIOLA DAVIS – HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER
EVA GREEN – PENNY DREADFUL
TARAJI P. HENSON – EMPIRE
ROBIN WRIGHT – HOUSE OF CARDS
As much as I want Balfe to win, the Globes are going to choose Robin Wright for playing a cold, heartless woman in House of Cards terrible third season. Eva Green is great, but she will be overlooked because old people don’t watch weird horror shows like Penny Dreadful. Then again, it could go to Viola Davis for… I dunno, in the first season she took her wig off, so maybe in the second season she has fake nails? Acting!
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
JON HAMM – MAD MEN
RAMI MALEK – MR. ROBOT
WAGNER MOURA – NARCOS
BOB ODENKIRK – BETTER CALL SAUL
LIEV SCHREIBER – RAY DONOVAN
Rami Malek was like watching the Joker in The Dark Knight. Ever scene he was in had you glued to the screen. Since he is the show, this means you are glued to the screen for the entirety. I remember seeing him in The Pacific and thinking he stole the show and now he’s huge. No one else on this list comes close. Moura was good, Hamm phoned it in, Schreiber was a walking Ambien, and Odenkirk was adequate. Malek for the win.
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
CASUAL (Hulu) (Lionsgate TV / Right of Way)
MOZART IN THE JUNGLE (Amazon Video) (Amazon Studios)
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK (Netflix) (Lionsgate Television for Netflix)
SILICON VALLEY (HBO) (HBO Entertainment in association with Judgemental Films, Alec Berg, Altschuler Krinsky Works, and 3 Arts Entertainment)
TRANSPARENT (Amazon Video) (Amazon Studios)
VEEP (HBO) (HBO Entertainment in association with Dundee Productions)
Silicon Valley should win. Veep might win. Transparent will win because of the whole transgender thing. I’m not hating, it’s just something I notice happening with awards and shows that take on current events. Go away, Orange is the New Black.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
RACHEL BLOOM – CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND
JAMIE LEE CURTIS – SCREAM QUEENS
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS – VEEP
GINA RODRIGUEZ – JANE THE VIRGIN
LILY TOMLIN – GRACE AND FRANKIE
Dreyfus will probably win, but I thought Lily Tomlin was great in Grace and Frankie. That show is severely underrated. Jamie Lee Curtis for Scream Queens? Anyone that watches that show is an idiot.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
AZIZ ANSARI – MASTER OF NONE
GAEL GARCÍA BERNAL – MOZART IN THE JUNGLE
ROB LOWE – THE GRINDER
PATRICK STEWART – BLUNT TALK
JEFFREY TAMBOR – TRANSPARENT
Tambor will win for the above reason I’ve mentioned. I thought Ansari was great. Stewart was also amazing, but the show gets no publicity. Rob Lowe phones it in for The Grinder.
BEST TELEVISION LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
AMERICAN CRIME (ABC) (ABC Studios)
AMERICAN HORROR STORY: HOTEL (FX) (20th Century Fox Television)
FARGO (FX) (MGM Television Studios / FX Productions)
FLESH & BONE (Starz) (Starz)
WOLF HALL (PBS) (A Playground Entertainment and Company Pictures production for BBC and MASTERPIECE in association with BBC Worldwide, Atlus Media and Prescience)
Fargo season 2 should sweep pretty much every category its in. Go watch it. Finish reading this, call into work, and then binge the entire season.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
KIRSTEN DUNST – FARGO
LADY GAGA – AMERICAN HORROR STORY: HOTEL
SARAH HAY – FLESH & BONE
FELICITY HUFFMAN – AMERICAN CRIME
QUEEN LATIFAH – BESSIE
Although I don’t care for the show, Huffman will probably win. Lady Gaga just played a creepy weirdo in that terrible show, so she might win for playing herself. Kirsten Dunst did the amazing job of making me like her in Fargo, so if she stole a win… I’d be okay with it… maybe.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
IDRIS ELBA – LUTHER
OSCAR ISAAC – SHOW ME A HERO
DAVID OYELOWO – NIGHTINGALE
MARK RYLANCE – WOLF HALL
PATRICK WILSON – FARGO
I love Elba in Luther, but Oscar Issac in Show Me A Hero stole the show. I knew the history of the guy he played in the show — why the f*ck wasn’t it nominated for best limited series? — so I knew what was going to happen, but Issac played the character of a good politician getting screwed over by corrupt politicians like a boss.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
UZO ADUBA – ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK
JOANNE FROGGATT – DOWNTON ABBEY
REGINA KING – AMERICAN CRIME
JUDITH LIGHT – TRANSPARENT
MAURA TIERNEY – THE AFFAIR
Uzo Abuba will win again for her performance. Sure, everyone else is good, but she will win because of course she will. Regina King should win. She’s been amazing in American Crime and The Leftovers. Wait a minute, where the hell is The Leftovers?!
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
ALAN CUMMING – THE GOOD WIFE
DAMIAN LEWIS – WOLF HALL
BEN MENDELSOHN – BLOODLINE
TOBIAS MENZIES – OUTLANDER
CHRISTIAN SLATER – MR. ROBOT
Christian Slater for Mr. Robot. I know, it’s Christian Slater. He is television poison. It’s not because he isn’t good, it’s just that every show that he’s on gets cancelled. That’s why I was scared watching the show because it was so good, but he was in it. He was amazing in it. He may have some competition from Ben Mendelsohn, but I think it may go to Slater for his amazing performance in Mr. Robot.
The 73rd Golden Globe awards will air January 10th with Ricky Gervais as host for the 4th time. Be sure to watch him rip everyone a new one and then watch the media cry the next day.
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Jeff Sorensen is an author, writer and occasional comedian living in Detroit, Michigan. You can look for more of his work on The Huffington Post,UPROXX,BGR and by just looking up his name.