The Underground — Issue #79
Everything you need to know about in this weekly: Senator Franken demonstrates his memory of the USA, A replica of one of video games most famous gadgets, the essential cooking guide, and the double standard for paying on a date.
At Social Underground we go beyond the mainstream stuff and see what’s underneath the surface. What should we get into, listen to, read, eat or watch? If there is something in our culture that needs attention that’s our job: Show you the underground things that you need to know about: Books, music, television, movies, comedians, art, and whatever else we can find to get you into something you never knew about. That’s The Underground.
1. Watch as Senator Al Franken draws the USA from memory. In 7th grade, my social studies teacher made the entire class take the 50 state test to see our memory of all of the states. It wasn’t really hard to memorize if you write the alphabet down and write down as many states under each letter that you can remember. However, sometimes it’s a little hard to match the states in the middle and northeast parts of the countries. That’s mostly due to the tiny or square shapes of the states.
Senator Al Franken proves that not only can he recognize the states, he can draw them… all of them. Franken can draw the entire USA from memory in front of crowds as a fun thing to do and also to show that he isn’t an idiot. I’m pretty sure that the majority of the congress and senate couldn’t name all the states. Hell, I’m pretty positive that they couldn’t name the any of the amendments of the US Constitution past the 5th.
Watch below as Al Franken draws a map of the USA by heart. It’s pretty neat.
2. You can now buy an exact replica of the Pip-Boy from Fallout 4. Not too long ago I bought a Playstation 4. Usually, I would go with an Xbox One since all of my friends have them, but I really got sick of the first person shooter games that is the default buy for the system. I had 2 different Xbox 360’s that I sold because I just got bored playing them. A deal came up where if I bought the PS4, I’d get Fallout 4, Dead Souls 3 and Star Wars: Battlefront for only $400. Sold! I was reluctant to play Fallout 4 because it looked like another shooter, but I was proven wrong since it is probably one of the most interesting and enjoyable games I’ve ever played.
One of the best parts of the game is the Pip-Boy are gadget that you get to use as the main character. It’s futuristic yet looks like it could exist in our time. I was right, because ThinkGeek made a replica of it that’s relatively cheap to buy. Check out the promotional video for it below. You can soon buy one of these and go out in the real world with it. I mean, you could go out in the real world with it, but people would probably just stare at you. They’re jealous.
3. This cooking infographic compilation is essential for all your cooking needs. One of the easiest and the most difficult things to do is cooking. It’s why television has like 100 cooking shows. If you know what you’re doing, you’ll make so kickass food for yourself and others. If you don’t know what you’re doing, the hamburgers you grilled will be hockey pucks that no one wants to eat. Trust me, I’ve done that. Nothing is more embarrassing that grilling and getting hit with that feeling of “Oh sh*t, the grill is on!” only to open the grill and seeing the waste of a cow.
The infographic below displays everything you need to know about cooking. I’m talking about specifics like what type of kitchen mixer to use to make pie crust. If someone asked me to make pie crush, I’d probably just break up a bunch of graham crackers and mix it with milk. This is why I go to the grocery store and buy my pies like the quitter I am.
Memorize all of these face below to become a better cook. Even better, print them out and have them in the kitchen for a quick reference when you’re pretending to be a chef in the kitchen. The more you look at it, the more you will have it all stuck in your memory.
4. The double standards of men always paying on a date. I think it’s pretty much a given that a guy pays for the first couple of dates, right? Usually you know you found someone with manners when she offers to pay every time before you start splitting the checks evenly. That’s just how it goes. The annoying thing is when the girl you take out on a date never offers to pay. We know you’re not going to pay, but offering is still nice.
I ended a relationship based on this (plus, the sex was bad, she was pushing religion on me and was incredibly sheltered). What happened was we were at a bar with her friends. I was the designated driver, so I was drinking lemon water the whole night. Water is free, so I wasn’t expecting to have to pay for anything. I mean, why the hell would I? But then again, I still had it in the back of my head that I may pay just to be nice. The problem game at the end of the night when she got her bill. Not only did she blow past the bill, she skipped to saying, “Don’t forget to leave a good tip. The waitress is my friend, Jeff.” Yep. Not only do I pay the bill, I also have to leave a big tip. Eject!
Below, Matthew Hussey obliterates the double standard. When women from the audience question him, he obliterates them. He isn’t mean or misogynistic, but logical. Check it out and see if you agree.
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Jeff Sorensen is an author, writer and occasional comedian living in Detroit, Michigan. You can look for more of his work on The Huffington Post, UPROXX, BGR and by just looking up his name.