Spy Cats and Jedi Knights. Here’s Some Weird Cold War-Era US Military Projects
Reading about new military technology like drones, cyber intelligence, and laser weapons I can’t help but think about all the weird or absurd military projects the US has dumped money into over the years and how we got to where we’re at today. So here’s a few favorites:
Operation Acoustic Kitty
The Cold War era is home to a plethora of grasping-for-straws spy technology. One idea– which isn’t far off from something I could come up with after a few drinks– is Operation Acoustic Kitty. The difference between the CIA and myself though, is that I don’t think this idea warrants a 10 million dollar prototype. A prototype that, by the way, immediately got hit by a taxi.
But this wasn’t something as simple as bugging a cat’s ear. No that would make too much sense. Acoustic kitty was a mutant robot cat. “They slit the cat open, put batteries in him, wired him up, the tail was used as an antenna. They made a monstrosity,” said Victor Marchetti, an executive assistant to the director of the CIA in the 1960’s.
Unfortunately, cats don’t crave human attention the same way dogs do, so I don’t know why they thought this would work. And wouldn’t the Soviets get suspicious about a strange robo-cat hanging around the embassy? But on the other hand cats are pretty sneaky, and pictures indicate that Lenin and Stalin really liked them. So maybe they were on to something? Nah.
Tunnel Under the Soviet Embassy
In the 80’s the CIA and NSA figured the best way to gain counterintelligence on the Soviets was to construct a tunnel directly under their embassy. Which I can only assume they planned to fill with robo-cats. So what’s a spy tunnel like this cost? An estimated “several hundred million dollars“.
The funny part about this story is that while the United States was constructing the tunnel– for the purpose of spying– they were reportedly accusing the Soviets of spying from their Washington embassy as well as the United States embassy in Moscow.
The US was so concerned about this that they flew a construction team to Moscow to demolish and rebuild two stories on the US embassy. It’s like that partner we’ve all had who accuses you of cheating and checks your phone; only to find out they were the one lying and cheating all along.
Project Star Gate
An article like this wouldn’t be complete without including the Star Gate Project. The Cold War was an era full of desperate spy technology and Project Star Gate has it all: paranormal research, remote viewing (ESP), psychic capabilities. Project Star Gate also included Project Jedi– which is exactly what it sounds like. Oh and did I mention this was a 20 year project conducted by the CIA, NSA and DIA? Yeah, literally EVERYONE said “hey dump a bunch of money into this excellent idea.” Twenty million dollars to be exact.
So why? Well the Pentagon worried the Soviets were investing in psychic capabilities. To quote a 1973 statement from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, “the U.S. has failed to significantly advance our understanding of paranormal phenomena.” Don’t get me wrong, this was a very serious project that went on for a long time. I mean they had to come up with some useful ideas at some point.
If you throw a bunch of spaghetti at a wall, eventually something is gonna stick. I’m sure 20 years from now when we hear about research and military projects from today we’ll be laughing. Oh don’t think so? Check out this article from Army Times calling on all Jedi knights to join the counterintelligence fight against ISIS. I don’t need any conspiracy theories to daydream about what may be going on behind closed doors. Facts, reality, and things the US actually admits to are weird enough.
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Randi Nord lives in Pontiac, Michigan. She is a journalist for the The Fifth Column and co-hosts a podcast about geopolitics.