The Underground — Issue #23
Everything you need to know about in this weekly series: The next step in real-world gaming, text a number to get anything you want, a space movie that you need to watch and tell your friends about, what you don’t know about dinosaurs, and some spoken word poetry to show you that you’re not that special.
At Social Underground we go beyond the mainstream stuff and see what’s underneath the surface. What should we get into, listen to, read, eat or watch? If there is something in our culture that needs attention that’s our job: Show you the underground things that you need to know about: Books, music, television, movies, comedians, art, and whatever else we can find to get you into something you never knew about. That’s The Underground.
1. The Void is the future of gaming. Before you ever went to play paintball or laser tag, didn’t you come out of it a bit underwhelmed. Sure, paintball comes with the real pain of getting shot in the ass with a high-speed paintball, but the surroundings are usually boring. Laser tag usually leaves you thinking, “I shot him, I shot him right in the sensor! What the hell!” Now, The Void may be the answer.
At THE VOID you will walk into new dimensions and experience worlds without limits. From fighting intergalactic wars on alien planets, to casting spells in the darkest of dungeons, THE VOID presents the future of entertainment. Only limited by imagination, our advanced Virtual-Reality technologies allow you to see, move, and feel our digital worlds in a completely immersive and realistic way.
Check out the demonstration below, and check out more information at their website:
2. MAGIC is the text that can get anything you want or need. There’s no doubt a consumer would like to take out their phone, text a number with what they want, and the other side to abide by your wishes and it’ll show up to your door like… magic. (Credit for discovering this goes to resident Social Underground sexpert Sammy Phillips, author of the S.A.M. series)
Magic is the next service that will get you what you want when you want it:
Now, before you go crazy, you can’t text the number and ask, “I’d like 4 grams of pure Columbian cocaine in my nose in 4 hours!” and expect to get it. That would be another service… a service that will end up getting you arrested.
Head on over to Magic’s website to learn even more about the service. Having other people bring you pizza is always better than going to get your pizza on your own. I think that’s in the U.S. Constitution.
50 years into the future, the Sun begins to die, and Earth is dying as a result. A team of astronauts are sent to revive the Sun – but the mission fails. Seven years later, a new team is sent to finish the mission as mankind’s last hope.
It’s really a beautiful movie with a soundtrack that matches the scenery well. Check out the trailer below and watch the movie ASAP. It gives you that sense of being isolated from humanity, but fighting like hell to save it.
4. Here are some misconceptions about Dinosaurs that you may have missed. Let’s all be honest with ourselves: Dinosaurs are awesome! That first moment when you were little and saw them on the big screen in Jurassic Park was mind-blowing. That first time you may have seen them on-screen in Jurassic Park III? Not so much.
What both movies, and what most people think about dinosaurs are wrong. The movies got many things wrong. This is why it helps to get your information from places that don’t involve Jeff Goldblum looking through binoculars the wrong way in Jurassic Park II. Or from places where Jeff Goldblum’s daughter in the movie does gymnastics to kick a Raptor out of a window. Good luck, Chris Pratt on what looks like a 3rd sequel in a franchise that only needed the one movie.
Anyway, let this video explain what most of us get wrong about dinosaurs. That way, you can tell your friend during the movie that “Raptors actually had feathers.”
5. Dance, Monkey, Dance! As humans, we think we’re the top species on the planet because we have 24/7 food delivery. Sure, it’s amazing, but we are just one species, on one planet, surrounding one star, near a few stars that are light-years away, that is part of one galaxy of billions of stars and planets, that’s part of a local group of galaxies… and I think you get the point.
Ernest Cline is a prolific poet who has written some of the funniest and mind-enhancing poetry that I have had to pleasure to read. One poem he wrote titled “Dance Monkeys Dance!” really brings the human ego down to a manageable level. Everytime I see someone brag about how great they are, this video comes to mind.
We humans are just animals. We happen to have some cool stuff, which is pretty impressive… for a bunch of Monkeys.
Here’s a transcript of the spoken word/poem:
Orbiting the sun at about 93 million miles
is a little blue planet
and this planet is run
by a bunch of monkeys.
Now, the monkeys don’t think of
themselves as monkeys.
They don’t even think of themselves as animals
And they love to list all the things
that they think
separate them from the animals:
Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
They’ll use words like
Homo Erectus and Australopithecus.
You say Toe-mate-o,
I say Toe-motto.
They’re animals all right.
Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology,
but monkeys nevertheless.
I mean, they’re clever.
You’ve got to give them that.
The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets,
the Great Wall of China.
That’s all some pretty impressive shit . . .
for a bunch of monkeys.
Monkeys whose brains have evolved
to such an unmanageable size
that it’s now pretty much impossible
for them stay happy for any length of time
In fact, they’re the only animals
that think they’re supposed to be happy.
All of the other animals can just be.
But it’s not that simple for the monkeys.
You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
and so the monkeys are afraid.
So the monkeys worry.
The monkeys worry about everything,
but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in
with the other monkeys.
Which is hard to do,
because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
This what really separates them from the other animals.
These monkeys hate.
They hate monkeys that are different.
Monkeys from different places,
monkeys who are a different color-
You see, the monkeys feel alone.
All six billion of them.
Some of the monkeys pay another monkey
to listen to their problems.
Because the monkeys want answers
and the monkeys don’t want to die.
So the monkeys make up gods
and then they worship them.
Then the monkeys argue
over whose made-up god is better.
Then the monkeys get really pissed off
and this is usually when the monkeys decide
that it’s a good time to start killing each other.
So the monkeys wage war.
The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet
wired up to explode.
The monkeys just can’t help it.
Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . .
of other monkeys.
The monkeys make trophies
and then they give them to each other.
Like it means something.
Some of the monkeys think
that they have it all worked out.
Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
without given any consideration to the fact
was just another fucking monkey.
The monkeys make plans.
The monkeys fall in love.
The monkeys fuck
and then they make more monkeys.
The monkeys make music
and then the monkeys DANCE
Dance, monkeys, dance.
The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
Monkey making noise.
And when he’s done,
five other randomly selected monkeys
will rate this monkey’s noises
on a scale from one to ten.
At the end of the night,
they add all the numbers up
to see which monkey made the best noises.
As you can see . . .
these are some fucked up monkeys.
These monkeys are at once the ugliest
and most beautiful creatures on the planet.
And the monkeys don’t want to be monkeys.
They want to be something else.
But they’re not.
I encourage you to check out more of his spoken word poetry over at his website.
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